Outtakes
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: Penny laughed. It was a broken sound and Sirius realised that she was crying. "You precious idiot. How am I… How are you?" Sirius smiled. "I'm not alone anymore." [[Outtakes from all my multi-chapter fics in the Harry Potter fandom]]


**Title** : Not Alone

 **Characters** : Sirius Black, Penny Singh and mentions of James Potter.

 **Pairing** : Sirius x Penny

 **AN** : This one-shot can be seen as an outtake from _Old Scars and Future Hearts_.

It may seem odd that Penny doesn't get scared about what happens. I do have an explanation for that but I can't tell you yet because that would be a spoiler since I haven't actually mentioned said thing in _Old Scars and Future Hearts_ and it's kind of a big deal to the plot so, yeah...

 **Word Count** : 1, 585

* * *

Sirius Black knew what it felt like to be completely alone. He had spent most of his life fending for himself without the help from anyone else. As a child and teenager, he struggled to fight the opinions and the roles that his parents tried to push down his throat. And somehow, in spite of their constant pressure and venomous words, he managed to stay true to himself. But his deep rooted will to rebel against his parents came with a cost.

When Sirius turned twelve and went away to Hogwarts he found himself in a new situation. He was no longer alone. He found friends. Friends who became his brothers. And he fell in love. At the age of eighteen when he left Hogwarts Sirius thought, in spite of the darkness that spread in the world, that they were going to be okay.

When he escaped from Azkaban after twelve years in the merciless environment he was alone again. He was thirty-three years old when he stepped foot – well paw – outside of the prison that had slowly driven him to the brink of insanity in the years that he had been there. He tried to remind himself that he had stayed on the right side of that edge but it didn't seem to matter. Just like the slowly increasing amount of space between him and the prison didn't seem to help in fighting the ghosts that rampaged within his tormented mind.

Images of James throughout their friendship flashed before him. Sirius could see the boy with raven-coloured hair and hazel eyes as clearly as if James had been running beside him. He could hear his laughter, feel the warmth that spread when his best friend hugged him and he could see James winking at him from the other part of the classroom; McGonagall thought for a while that separating them would be good for their academic results. She was wrong.

Sirius howled, preferring to say in his animagus form, to get the pain out. It didn't work. It was all wrong. He was not supposed to think of James the way that he did. He wasn't supposed to remember him like a young man when Sirius himself was nearing thirty-five. James was supposed to be alive. Sirius was supposed to tease him about his retreating hairline; assuming that his hairline did retreat. It was just all wrong.

The rain soaked his fur and he ran himself to the brink of exhaustion to get to his destination quicker. Somehow the pain in his body was bearable. Sirius imagined that it was because nothing could compare to the pain in his heart and mind; it was moving like a parasite and growing as it feasted on the darkness of his thoughts.

James was dead. Remus believed that he was guilty. Peter… just thinking about him made Sirius growl. His options were few yet Sirius knew exactly where he was going. So, he ran until his paws ached. He reminded himself of why he was running during the few moments when the ghosts inside his head asked if he wanted to give up yet. He saw images of Harry flash before his eyes and he saw Penny.

Penny with the brilliant smile, the black hair with highlights in different colours, the piercing in her nose and those dark eyes that drew him in and never seemed to end. It was easy to focus on Penny when the dark thoughts became overwhelming. Sirius knew Penny.

He knew what she looked like when she was focusing; a small frown appeared on her face and occasionally she would stick her tongue out. He knew what she looked like when she protected her friends. Penny would glare at them while standing in a posture that told whoever that had made her angry that she wasn't going to back down. She didn't need to yell or scream. The inner strength that radiated from her was enough to intimidate most people. And if it didn't then she'd deal with that too.

But what Sirius loved to think about the most was moments when Penny didn't realise that she was being watched. It was the moments when she sat surrounded by Dorcas, Marlene and Emmeline just talking. Sirius loved those moments. She would gesture when she spoke, sometimes changing languages, and laugh when someone said something funny. Her laughter was loud and could be heard no matter where in the room you were.

The last time they had seen each other was twelve years ago.

* * *

Sirius could still remember the feeling of her fingers running through his hair and the weight of her neck as she rested it against his arm. He knew that if he opened his eyes and turned around he would see her looking at him with that sleepy expression on her face.

"Hey." Sirius turned his head sidewise to look down at her. As per usual he couldn't not smile when he saw her. "When did you get home?"

Penny shrugged. "Either very early or very late. It depends on how you look at it." she paused when she moved herself closer to him and removed all distance. "How's James and Lily?"

"I think they're doing as good as they can. I they're feeling a bit lonely…" Sirius grinned at her as he bent down and kissed her forehead, cheeks and then nose. He hovered with his lips just above hers. "How are you?"

Penny kissed his lips. Once, twice and three times before stopping to answer. "I'm as good as I can be. How are you?"

"You're not feeling alone?" he asked with a hint of guilt in his voice. "I know I've been away a lot…"

Penny efficiently stopped him from talking by putting her hand over his mouth. If Sirius wouldn't have understood that meant that he was supposed to stop talking then the look that Penny gave him said that loud and clear. "I have been away more than you have. I should be the one asking if you're lonely."

"Let's just call it even?" Sirius laughed and shook his head when he saw the look on her face. It was a clear sign that he wasn't getting out of answering the question. "How could I be lonely when I have you?"

"Right back at you babe." Penny bit her lower lip as her arms sneaked around his neck. He could feel her touching his hair again and he couldn't help but smile. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to kiss you a lot."

Sirius gave her a smirk that only grew bigger when he saw the way her eyes widened as his hands slowly lost altitude and eventually rested against the lower parts of her stomach. "Well, if you must."

* * *

Twelve years had gone and she was just as beautiful now as she had been then. Sirius saw her walking down the streets. Her hands were pushed down in the pockets of her trench coat, her head slightly bent and he could see that she was biting her lip. Sirius couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind at that moment. He snuck into an ally where no one was watching and turned back into his human form. He looked awful based on the few seconds he allowed himself to look into a puddle of water.

His brown hair reached his shoulders and he looked skinnier than ever before. He remembered that the clothes had fit when he arrived in Azkaban but now they looked like they could fall from his thin frame at any given moment. His grey eyes weren't stormy like when he was in school but haunted.

The world disappeared as he caught up with her. She walked into a tiny house and left the door open just enough for Sirius to sneak in after her. Once the door had closed behind him Sirius spoke. "Penny…"

He didn't know what he thought would happen. He had expected shock, glares with an anger so powerful that it could burn through walls or maybe just sadness. Sirius wanted to think that he knew her but in the back of his mind he was constantly reminded by the fact that it had been twelve years.

Penny stood completely still. He could see her trembling hand reaching towards something on the wall. A few seconds later the hallway became brightly light up and Penny slowly turned around. Her eyes widened as tears filled them and she let out a gasp.

Sirius didn't know what to expect but he did know that he had not expected for her to hug him. But that's what she did. She removed all distance between the two and wrapped her arms around his skinny frame. She held onto his torn clothes as if her life depended on it. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for not being able to help you. I tried, I promise that I tried but no one believed that you were innocent."

A chuckle escaped him. Sirius wrapped his arms around her body and leaned into the crook of her neck. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He didn't realise how much he missed having her play with his hair until the moment when he felt her fingers running through it. "How are you?"

Penny laughed. It was a broken sound and Sirius realised that she was crying. "You precious idiot. How am I… How are you?"

Sirius smiled. "I'm not alone anymore."

 **The end**


End file.
